Srinivasan Yum Vee a.k.a. Cheenu a.k.a. Srini a.k.a the saambhar rocker a.k.a God …

… which makes an interesting start to this testimonial. How many people on this planet can boast of being worshipped in their own life time. Well, our man Srini sure can, although the orkut community constituted by his ‘worshippers’ has seen quite a bit of attrition in recent times. Wonder why …

How on Earth a guy like Srini landed at a hell hole like the top floor of hostel 5 is something straight outta Ripley’s !! For two whole terms, the dude had a CG that was higher than the sum of both his neighbours’ CGs. Slowly but surely, the H5 voodoo kicked in and the result is the long haired freak of nature whose favourite band is ‘Death’ and who spends more time learning the guitar today than he did making out with his text books during the first year.

Srini it seems had taken an oath before he left home that he would learn and even master Hindi during his stay at Hel(L) but the most that anyone’s ever heard emanate from his mouth in the blessed language are the words “Sooth ke pakode, Bose D.K. !!”. Apparently some dude called Bose D.K had really ticked Srini off to earn his ire. Who can forget that incident when Srini actually laughed off an entire torrent of choice abuses in Hindi which were hurled his way saying – “Those are really bad words in Hindi right ??? giggle giggle … “ … sigh … The only two numbers (‘counting numbers’ not songs …duh) he knows are Paanch and Paanch so Unthees and he gets by just fine while ordering from Fauji Dabha or while giving his clothes to the Dhobhi.

By his own admission on his Orkut profile, he’s a heavy smoker and heavy drinker with two girlfriends. But frankly, the dude wont be able to tell a Vodka from a whiskey if a bottle of either fell out of the sky and landed square on his head. A born again death metal fan, none of us could have imagined when we first saw the dude that he’d be playing the guitar someday … and all night long at that !! ;) Sure, Srini’s played with a G string (ahem) all night long but then he played the E, A, D and B strings too :D. During his stay in Hel(L), he had a thing for one woman and one woman alone but she had other things to do further up the corridor, but as Dillu would say, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

We have to admit though that the guy is committed. Not the orkut kind of ‘committed’ … perish the thought … A certain Mr. Dubey would give dogs up sooner than Srini’s ‘committed’. To avoid any further confusion in this regard, we would henceforth use the word ‘dedicated’. The dude’s one resilient, tenacious and ‘dedicated’ &$#&$*. Whether it’s jogging five rounds around the campus, or understanding the innards of finance or learning the guitar, the dude’ll give nothing less than one hundred and twenty percent.

He claims to have been Calvin (of the Calvin and Hobbes fame) in his childhood but we’ve never seen any of that in the two years that we’ve known him for. In fact, he silently bore the torrential onslaught of metal (from 5pm to 11pm) and Hindi songs (from 2am to 6am) that used to emanate from the rooms of two different neighbours without making so much as a whimper in discontentment.

We all thought that all he could do was dance and mug up entire textbooks when he first arrived on campus but now his pictures are all over the newspapers as a budding guitarist (much to the chagrin of a fellow tam and guitarist in H5, we might add) … Srinivasan Yum Vee … you rock da machi … You complete the trio of the ‘Kewl tams of H5! ‘String it’ da machi !! :D

Sachchu maami …

Sacheeen !!!! This dude completes the trio of the coolest tams on campus (well, on the second floor of H5 atleast ) … although his ‘coolness coefficient’ might have fallen just a tad over the last month and a half owing to the hair cut he took for the placement season. Now it’s upto the ‘Saambhar rocker’ and ‘El pollo del infierno’ to carry the flag. In the long sad history of fraud tams at IIM L, this dude’s definitely got to take the crown. It took long enough for most of us to figure out that he was a tam in the first place and when we finally did, he shocks Srini out of his wits by uttering a string of words (supposedly in tam) that even good ol’ Shanky couldn’t have understood. He also claims to know a dozen other languages, a fact which is yet to be verified.

Sachin’s given up drinking (for the time being atleast) after a recent escapade at an insti party. He’s a really funny person when he’s sober but things get outright hilarious when he’s sloshed. The dude really spills his guts out … erm … we’re not talking about him losing his dinner here (that happens too) but his outrageous globe and his gyan sessions that’ll have you in stitches after he’s a couple of pegs down. Nobody’s going to forget that hilarious session in Saha’s room in a hurry, when Sachin took each and everybody’s case only to forget about the entire episode the next morning.

Cheenu, Cheeru, Ninjamani, Globa … the list goes on. No, these aren’t the Teletubbies that you’ve never heard of but names that Sachin’s given to grownup people. A hardcore’ animation movies freak’, the dude’s got the largest collection of animated movies on campus but then he’s also got the largest collection of videos featuring Hefner’s girls (wink wink).

A hardcore ops person (you could even call him an Ops God), this dude gets into his element whenever during a discussion in class somebody makes so much as a passing reference to something even remotely ops related. After GoodYear refused to give him an ops profile, his Gtalk status message mysteriously changed to ‘Goodyear KMK’. While most other people would have gone in for a more interesting selection of abuses, the most that comes out of Sachin’s mouth even when he’s really really p*ssed off are words like – ghanta or dhakkan (and this is when he’s absolutely seething with rage). He’s H5’s own alarm clock owing to his remarkable ability of being able to wake up at 7 am on the dot even if he’d hit the sack only at 6:30 am.

Although he’s a sworn veggie this dude’s got a weakness for ‘tandoori’ … so much so that, he tried everything in his power to speak to… erm …eat a ‘tandoori’ dish during the summer placements of the junior batch. Speaking about food and eating, many people on campus have noticed that he’s put on quite a bit of weight since he first set foot on campus two years ago, due to which he’s been visiting the gym and jogging around campus regularly to shed those extra pounds … or maybe it’s all an elaborate ploy to realize his dreams of having his ‘tandoori’ and eating it too ;) .

He’ll never refuse to lend anybody his ‘Chitty chitty Boing Zoing’ (CBZ) … but the problem is that the darn thing is in such a state of dilapidation that it gives the term ‘kick start’ a new meaning. It’s quite an ordeal having to start his bike and once you do get the confounded thingamajig going, it’s one long prayer till the destination that it doesn’t die on you on the way because it is next to impossible to get this green two wheeled monster going again. Whoever it was that globed that he didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘impossible’ obviously hadn’t tried starting Sachin’s bike.

An amazing mimic, it’s a treat to see this guy’s imitation of all his friends (and some profs) although we’re all still eagerly waiting for the day when an even bigger impressionist’s going to show him how he himself walks and talks … boy is he in for a nasty surprise :D . One of the most genuine and straight forward people you’ll ever come across, his commitment (read: being dragged against his will) to social causes is also unparalleled but all this pales in comparison to his commitment to ‘24’, the series. We haven’t seen auntijis watch ‘saas bahu’ TV serials with the same fervor. We’ve always wished though that he could exhibit the same interest level while watching movies too because he sleeps like a baby through most of them.

But that’s a good thing because, a certain Mr.Globa McBalaji would never have glimpsed the inside of a classroom at Hel(L) if it Sachin Jayaram didn’t get enough sleep. Although the dude’s never actually listened to metal music in his life, he recently tried to persuade his AOC class to listen to the “metals” genre. Macha … you rock dude! You’ve always belonged with us H5 top ‘floorers’. Sachin Humara Neta Hai …

‘Vasavagiri’ … just another word or a phenomenon ?

A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing … especially in the wrong hands !! This couldn’t be more true than the case of Freud’s works in the possession of Vasava. Never have I seen anybody pore so diligently over the contents of a book (three of them actually), but Vasava’s managed to slowly but surely inch his way through three mammoth tomes that bear the name of Freud on their cover. Why on earth anybody would want to do this especially when their line of specialization is not psychology but business administration is not entirely clear but the fact remains that a lot of people including yours truly are extremely worried about the consequence of this on space and time as we know it for Vasava without an understanding of human psychology could mess with your head nicely enough …

Which brings us to ‘Vasavagiri’. This is neither a way of life as professed by Vasava (we call that G*nd*giri) nor a new fangled fad but a word that is representative of the myriad things that Vasava does and uses to facilitate the catharsis of the million and one ideas that are pent up within the confines of the mad jumble that is his head. Vasava like lord Vishnu ‘reincarnates’ as a hobby. The most recent of his Avatars being ‘Ninjasava’ and ‘Ninjamani’ (a creation of Sachin who has this habit of naming people like ‘three-year-olds’ would).
His pet peeve is the fact that certain tams of H5 have waged a war on him and all things Gujju. A sure shot way of ending an argument with Vasava would be to say – “dude, I’m soooo scared. What are you going to do? Burn me alive? :D”. Well, knowing Vasava, saying stuff like that is like playing with … erm … fire … : ).

What he sees in Mithun Chakravarthy or ‘Mithun Da’ as he calls him, we’ll never be able to fathom howsoever long we dwell upon the thought but the fact does remain that he’s probably the actor’s biggest fan on the planet. He’d probably have to change his claimed religious subscription on Orkut because he positively worships Mithun Chakravarthy. He’s been caught having a verbal duel with people arguing that Mithun Chakravarty can kick Superman’s a** with one hand tied behind his back and the other hand conducting the San Francisco Philharmonic Orchestra. Oh well, as they say, “One man’s bread ……”… hmmmmmm … sigh… Try to get him to listen to metal and he’ll sneak out of your room when you’re not looking, but if it’s a movie that you want to watch, there’s no better company than Vasava (except for that one movie … think it was called ‘Primer’ or ‘Slimer’ or something like that. There is a child-like innocence about him that there is still an entire world out there that is pristine and unexplored, waiting to be discovered and captured on film (or digitally as in his case).

If somehow Leonardo Da Vinci were reborn and walked amongst men once again, there would be little doubt as to the form he might have taken. The genius who could create a work of art out of a few ‘strategically’ shaped pieces of colour paper and an issue of ‘The Economic Times’ or sand or most recently even snow, Amit Vasava, we bow in deference to thee and thy Vasavagiri. We should consider ourselves blessed (rrright) indeed to have seen creative genius such as is in the possession of Vasava at work.

Seldom in our lives would we see such people who are infatuated with the beauty exuded by even mundane stuff (like a giant coffee cup spilling it’s contents onto Prof. Purvar’s bald shiny pate) that might seem trivial to most others. Vasava is a person who is blessed with the rare ability of being able to see and capture the beauty in a dew drop glistening in the light of a magnificent new day or a fiery all-consuming flame about to scorch the tip of a cigarette. Years later when we’re all old and broken by life, we would all be able to reminisce and cherish the glorious days that were, thanks to Vasava’s careful chronicling of life at IIM L with his trusty camera.

You rock dude! H5 wouldn’t be the same without you! You’re a best friend to man and chicken alike ;) … but you know we’d have to kill you someday for all those damning videos you’ve taken of us right ? :D

Maastaah Clement Whatchumacallit !

… and then there was Clement …

Maastaah !! Maastaah !! This is a question of your Honah !! So I will try my best to do justice to this testimonial to your glory !! Hai !!

From the days of yore when a fellow band member christened him on stage with a name so terrible, so evil, that we may not reveal it here for the mere mention of this diabolical word, nay, the mere thought of uttering this word would bring upon us great misfortune, pain and suffering … mostly upon the person who named him thus, actually. The humble guitah playah whose evil handiwork it was of naming him will refrain from revealing this most evil of names for fear of his own well being and the safety of his loved ones.

Bass guitah playah extraordinaire, this dude recently amazed us all with a near perfect rendition of ‘Orion’ by Metallica, a steep task indeed for mere mortals. But Clemo’s no mere mortal is he? His wizardry is not confined just to the realm of music. Hell hath known no fury like that of Clemo playing NFS. His driving skills would leave you awestruck, but at times – ‘airstruck’ too, the meaning of which would be elucidated to you by his good friend and neighbour, Passi (for a nominal fee of course ... )

A master act on football field, he’s always the first to reach the field even when there’s a 3.4 jam on or when there’s no one else on the field! He’s “committed to music and to football but more committed to football than music” in his own words :D. The ‘commitment’ is there for everybody to see when the game begins. There are times when his opponents just can’t figure out who or what just stole the ball from them and it’s a common sight seeing a whole bunch of people just standing around and staring in admiration at his skills with the ball … ahem : ) … cough … football …

… Or maybe they’re all staring at his beard (erm … say what now?) … Some people have beards … Clemo has a ‘wild streak’. That’s what the dude chooses to call it anyway. Well at least the dude saves tons of money on shaving cream which is a good thing if we suddenly have a world wide shaving cream crisis. When shaving cream prices are soaring, guess who’ll be laughing …

Ever resilient and tenacious, Clemo’s like the tortoise who refused to give up. He wants to make it in the marketing universe and mark my words, he will too, someday. For now, he’s stuck with pondering about simpler things in life like how to play ‘baddy’ with an acute lack of ‘you-know-what’ (subject to the interpretations of the reader) or the sick maniac who told him that term six was ‘chill’ (so that he might be able to leave his mark on a strategically selected portion of that person’s posterior with his boot).

All said and done, Clemo’s one of the most genuine persons you would have ever met (assuming you haven’t met too many genuine people before … I’m lovin’ this :D ). His ultimate aim is to make a difference to society and not be blinded by the lure of the big bucks that might lure him off the ‘path of righteousness’ (although the big bucks in question might actually help his cause … sigh). A deeply religious person, it’s amazing how he can amaze us all with his metal prowess on stage and then conduct a prayer meeting in his room with the same amount of enthusiasm. Not a meal goes by without Clement extending his thanks to the Almighty (even as a certain fat lead guitarist gorges down his entire meal in one gargantuan gulp sitting right next to him), which only goes to show that you don’t have to worship ‘you know who’ to play guitaah like a guitaah God.

We wish you all the best in life Clemo, Mastaah … and hope that you do someday chance upon the person who wronged you so by telling you that the sixth term was a cake walk (although it is :D ). Make us all proud. I’m sure Cli* Burton’s smiling at you from the heavens (sorry I couldn’t help it buddy ! … err… I was talking to Cliff Burton … Clemo, you can go and play Police and Karateka or something :D )