Praneet ‘Dild … erm … Dillu’ Parate

Sita, Gita, Rita, Seema, Reema, Teena, Karina, Karishma, Sushmita, Payal, Sonal, Monal, Sonali, Monali, Motwani, Peters …who’s next ? … H5’s own Lou Bega’s still going strong! He’s almost given up on the fairer sex but he’s gonna keep trying nonetheless. That probably also explains why he always has a rubber (we aren’t talking about a Camlin or Natraj product here) in his wallet !

Praneet’s life at Hel(L)’s the kind of stuff that legends are made up of. He’s tried every trick in the book. From offering to configure yahoo messenger (a service rendered only unto denizens of hostels 1 and 2) on the campus network to inviting girls over to his room for a harmless gyan session (read: movie) to abusing the girl he really liked (verbally that is) during the hoax, our man’s tried every ploy … and failed. But then … as they say … “ ‘tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”.

Praneet’s claim to fame – a short-film that we made for Prom Strat for Dabur ‘Real juice’ that the dude stars in. This clip was supposed to capture the element of humour in advertisements and although the class was in splits during the film’s premiere, the prof. insisted that people had found the ad funny only because Praneet was in it. Speaking about modeling, he’s posed in every bizarre position conceivable with a guitar which brings us to a rather interesting technique in Praneet’s guitaring repertoire – ‘The Praneet Progression’. In the beginning Praneet would move the open A Major shape up and down the fret board with such mind numbing speed that it would have put the Petruccis and Satrianis of the world to shame. Then one day, he decides that he’s actually going to learn the guitar. 2006 – “hey dillu, dude, play your guitar” and he’d go 'Am A G D .. boing boing. 2007 -Praneet says “hey guys, I’ve learnt something new” and goes 'Am A G D .. sproing boing crunch !’ … Yes ladies and gentlemen, you guessed it … Praneet still aint still figured the guitar out … sigh …

Ever the fitness freak, rumours abound of sightings of Mr. Parate in the gym. During one such rare occasion, our man tries lifting a 5 kilo dumbbell to flex his long un-flexed biceps only to feel a shooting pain in his wrist. His dream that he would someday be in the possession of a body that Greek Gods could be proud of ended then and there. Buddy, we sincerely felt that you had more chances of spraining your wrist within the walls of the bathroom than in a gym. How did you ‘pull it off’ (the sprain that is ;)) ? Praneet takes 10 baths a day each one lasting for precisely two and a half minutes. Some of us have a theory that Praneet fills a bucket to it’s brim, offers obeisance to the water God and then steps out of the bathroom (sometimes unclad).

How many people can actually boast of being on the cover of Playgirl magazine ? Praneet can’t either but that doesn’t stop him from boasting about it anyway. His last birthday at H5 (or should we call it feeding frenzy) will definitely go down in the annals of H5 as one of the most brutal birthday celebrations ever where everything including the kitchen sink was thrown at the poor guy. At the end of it, Mr. Parate was one T-shirt and one jockey short.

He considers himself to be some kind of style guru and even got his hair straightened out during the summers. That hairstyle was short lived though and it was back to the baseball hat after all and sundry expressed their amusement at the woolen appearance that his hair exuded when it was long and straight. He’ll always tell you that he’s not hungry when you invite him to the mess but magically appear in the mess after precisely five minutes in some or the other girl’s company. He’s even been known to have had up to three lunches in a span of 60 minutes for reasons unbeknownst to the rest of us mere mortals. Ever the chivalrous one, Praneet’s always gone out of his way to help ‘hapless’ stex students and visiting competition participants (again mysteriously, all of them female). His ‘help’ continues even days after they’ve left campus. “Praneet’s soooo helpful” … sniff sniff sob : ).

We all thought that the guy’s search was finally over when he was overheard screaming “I love you baby … I really love you” over G talk while all the ‘female voice’ at the other end could do was cry (while all of us guys eves dropping outside his door were rolling all over the floor in splits).

School textbooks should replace the story of ‘King Bruce and the spider’ with the exploits of Praneet Parate. If nothing else, one thing this guy has is a never say die attitude. From patronizing Dr. Batra’s clinic (almost got into a paternity suit with that one) to doing his thing (ahem) no matter what the world said, we’ve all got a thing or two to learn from this guy. ‘Once bitten, twice Praneet !!’ You’re the epitome of H5 man. We all love you … and you’ll have to settle for us … :D